Bridget Wright

Okay, that’s it.

I’ve had just about all that I can take.

It’s time to get rid of it.

Today, I’m going to go to the self storage center or rent one of those self storage units and put all of this stuff away. It’s getting in my way and on my nerves. I can’t move, I can’t walk around…it’s aggravating. Once I pile everything up into my van, back up and unload all of this stuff at the Hoover storage center, there will be NO looking back, no regrets.

What is it you ask? What is it that is getting on my nerves so? My husband’s “stuff.” More specifically his books from college. Why, why, oh why does someone need to keep a Chemistry book? Or, who spends time reading their Physics textbook from 20 years ago? Really? And by the time our daughter gets to college, she won’t need the same Algebra I book you used in college. No, she won’t. I promise…she won’t. They have different ones now. Really.

My husband has each and every one of his college textbooks from years ago. Not kidding. I put them in a storage unit when we lived in an apartment years ago, but when we moved into our home, he brought them all out again! There are books in the attic, on the bookshelf, under beds, in the garage…they’re everywhere and the aggravating part is that no one is using them!!! He says he just hates to part with them because they mean so much to him. He always goes back to the storage facility and pulls them out. Sentimental or something. Whatever.

They’re going away today, for good. This time when I put them in the self storage facility here, I’m not sharing the key with him. Nope. I’m not doing this again in another 10 years!

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Going to a California business school was something that I always knew I would do when I graduated from high school. When I was young, very young, I had aspirations to get a business degree, travel the country and to see the world!! Oh the dreams that I had. Well, one day reality set in, brought some bills with it, and I saw that it wasn’t as easy as it sounded. At that time, I had a sister who lived in California, had graduated from a Southern California university, so I was going to go and live with her. I had plans to leave the south, become “citified” and see the world. Ha! The dreaming part was fun, until my sister put me to the challenge and told me to come and live with her in California for the summer. I accepted the challenge.

The first couple of weeks, I had a blast living the L.A. lifestyle, cruising the beaches, shopping, eating out and just having fun. When we started to look at the Los Angeles university list, that’s when reality hit home. The colleges in California were good, extremely good, and I saw where I had A LOT of work to do on my grades if I ever had ideas of going to school there.

Well, my big sister (who by the way is a teacher), tried her best to keep from saying, “told you so”, but she did manage to not say it as she gently guided me along the path to getting my grades solid enough to seriously think about coming to California. That time of my life was when I learned that the difference in doing something and thinking something is w-o-r-k-ing towards it to make it happen.

Going to school and getting a degree is very important, one of the most important things you will ever do in life. Having fun is important too! But, the most important thing that I learned that summer was not only to have fun (which I did manage to do!), but to work hard, stay focused and not get distracted. My sister spent a summer helping me see those things and for that, I’m forever grateful. Thanks sis!

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It’s a tricky thing, leading a balanced life that is. There are so many things and people vying for your attention. It almost seems impossible from day-to-day to decide on what you should or should not be doing. Knowing when to say no and what to say yes to is certainly a challenge. Do any of you have that problem?

I am faced DAILY with making decisions that will either keep me in balance or take me completely OUT of balance. With three kids, a household, work and a full life, there is always something to do. I have the challenge of deciding what to add or take away from that mixture that will keep me with sanity by the end of the day.

I’ve pretty much mastered the art of “no.” Almost. A little. I still have a few rough edges to polish on, but for the most part, I am able to say no and feel good about it. Just yesterday I was able to say no to a request to serve on a business community board. The position was for a year’s dedication. I wasn’t willing nor able to make that commitment although the person asking me was exerting a little pressure by making me feel as if I “should” do this thing. I was able to clearly and articulately say no and afterward, I felt a huge release of pressure from my mental state. I felt that I was beginning to see a state of balance come into my life.

What area(s) of your life are you out of balance in? How do you think you got into those situations or when did you get out of balance? Do share.

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For some, success in some areas is a challenge. There are so many distractions in our daily lives, that it’s hard to stay focused on what you should be doing. Setting goals is a big deal because it means that you’re eyeing something that you want to accomplish…and that’s a good thing. But getting to that goal is where the rub is and where a lot of people fall short and sometimes fail.

Identify any of these distractions and see if you have a problem in one or more area:

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1. You find that you spend an inordinate amount of time on phone calls that are non-productive. This includes assessing the latest gossip, finding out what happened on the soaps or what Bran-gelina wore to the Oscars. And yes, men are not exempt from this either as they may find themselves continually discussing the latest sport scores.
2. You daydream a lot or bemoan the things that you wish you could get done.
3. An hour or two has passed and you cannot identify one productive thing that you did within that time.
4. You say “yes” to every volunteer opportunity (whether school, work or community) that people ask of you.
5. You can’t say no. Ever. See #4.
6. You wake up tired and exhausted and go to bed pretty much the same. Tired.

If you answered yes to even one of the situations above, staying focused is likely a challenge for you. While you may get some things done, you may be frustrated that you’re not getting ahead or accomplishing the things that you need to be getting done. Take heart; there is a way out and a way that you can set goals and stay focused.

• Learn that saying “no” is not always a bad thing. You simply cannot do everything for everybody all of the time.
• Watch your conversation(s) and interactions with others. Are they productive? Do they advance your goals? Is the other person being helped or benefitted personally? Remember, big minds think big thoughts while small minds, well…
• Keep a to do list. Read the to do list. Follow the to do list rigorously. Do not deter from the list until all is accomplished for the day.
• Follow a daily schedule. Rise and retire at the same time daily. This will help stabilize your internal clock and keep your body energized.

sherlock holmes 2009 While these few tips are not all encompassing, they are just a few pointers to get you started on a pathway headed toward success. Just hang in there and you’ll get there!

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Finding out what you want out of life and what to do with your life can be a bit challenging. While you may have an *idea* of the things that you want to accomplish, you must take great care to ensure that you stay on course, stay focused, stay tied to your goals and work diligently towards what it is that you want to do and where you want to go.

John Tucker Must Die the movie For a good portion of my adult life, I’ve always done the things that OTHER people have wanted me to do. I’ve tried out for basketball because they did, I’ve joined different clubs, volunteered for various organizations, ate at their favorite restaurant…all sorts of accommodations that take me completely out of my comfort zone and into the other person’s world. As long as they were happy, I figured I’d be too.

UKM: The Ultimate Killing Machine trailer Now, I don’t know if this is an age thing or a “coming into my own” thing, but now I am at a point in my life where I have become completely selfish with my goals and with the things that *I* want to do with my life. That includes my business goals, educational goals, social status and even when and how I want to relax. I’m not so interested anymore in the feelings or desires of others, but more into what makes me happy and what makes me tick. Mouth hanging open yet? Yeah, thought so.

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What I’m saying is this: when you have something in your life that you want to do, you cannot afford to get distracted. You cannot keep helping others and totally neglecting yourself. I am not advocating NOT helping your neighbor, but what I am saying is that when it takes you completely out of the place where you want to and should be, then you’ve got problems. Major ones, no doubt.

For me, I have to stay focused if I want to grow my writing and speaking business. I cannot afford to delve into a completely different industry for promises of “fame and wealth” if that is not where I want to or need to be. I absolutely love writing and speaking and would do if even if I didn’t get paid (well, sorta) but for me to go into any other industry for quick riches would be doing myself a disservice.

I also had to realize that helping others doesn’t always necessarily mean totally neglecting myself or what I want. YOU DON’T NEED to live vicariously through the eyes of another person or a set of ideals. Be you and do a good job of it. Life is so much happier when you feel accomplished AND can help others. It’s called balance and the good Lord advocates it in scripture: Proverbs 11:1. When we are out of balance in any area of our lives, we are unhappy, confused and not at peace. This is not the life we live to pursue.

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I completely re-commit myself on a daily basis to stay balanced by helping others, serving others AND meeting my own goals. Yes, some days it is a real challenge, but I realize that I cannot get distracted nor can I afford to go off course. There is much to be done and if I’m going to get to some of it, I’ve got to pay attention. Are you?

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