He crawled into my bed this morning and asked, “Mom, do I have football practice today?” When I told him that he didn’t, he sighed a huge sigh of relief. Poor thing. He is soooo tired, but I know this is temporary. He’ll get used to it. But will I?

Letting go and allowing your child to grow up is probably one of the hardest things that a mom experiences. I’m not a dad, so my husband tells me that it’s not as hard as I make it seem. He’s not mean about it or anything, he’s just saying that it’s a good thing for them to grow up and become independent. Me? I don’t think so.

I can still vividly remember with each of my kids the precious moments I spent coddling and cuddling them through so many changes; scrapes and cuts, hurt feelings, bad dreams, etc. Mommy made it all better for them and it’s something that I (and they) will hopefully always remember.

But then the day comes when they must venture out into the real world and mix with real (and sometimes mean) people who are NOT mommy. That’s when there’s a reality slap and you wake up from your dream. Your babies are not babies anymore, and life is making another shift change. I thought I would look forward to the days of no more diaper changes, late night feedings and picking up toys and cleaning up spills for hours on end. But that was a time when I was in control of everything. I’m not anymore and it’s a rude awakening.

Growing up is a necessity and it’s a part of life. But nothing can stop me from wanting to scoop up and protect my children from this harsh life that hits them everyday. I know I must let go, but do I have to like it too?

When they said they grow up too fast, they were right. When they said enjoy those moments while you can, they were right. When they said, it will be over before you know it, they were right. And when they said you would wish for those days to come back again, they were right. Absolutely right.

I just wish they weren’t right.

Love, hold, squeeze and coddle them for as LONG as you can and as MUCH as you can. I’ve now joined the “they” crowd and I’m telling you, it’s all true. And right.

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I’ve had just about all that I can take.

It’s time to get rid of it.

Today, I’m going to go to the self storage center or rent one of those self storage units and put all of this stuff away. It’s getting in my way and on my nerves. I can’t move, I can’t walk around…it’s aggravating. Once I pile everything up into my van, back up and unload all of this stuff at the Hoover storage center, there will be NO looking back, no regrets.

What is it you ask? What is it that is getting on my nerves so? My husband’s “stuff.” More specifically his books from college. Why, why, oh why does someone need to keep a Chemistry book? Or, who spends time reading their Physics textbook from 20 years ago? Really? And by the time our daughter gets to college, she won’t need the same Algebra I book you used in college. No, she won’t. I promise…she won’t. They have different ones now. Really.

My husband has each and every one of his college textbooks from years ago. Not kidding. I put them in a storage unit when we lived in an apartment years ago, but when we moved into our home, he brought them all out again! There are books in the attic, on the bookshelf, under beds, in the garage…they’re everywhere and the aggravating part is that no one is using them!!! He says he just hates to part with them because they mean so much to him. He always goes back to the storage facility and pulls them out. Sentimental or something. Whatever.

They’re going away today, for good. This time when I put them in the self storage facility here, I’m not sharing the key with him. Nope. I’m not doing this again in another 10 years!

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The first couple of weeks, I had a blast living the L.A. lifestyle, cruising the beaches, shopping, eating out and just having fun. When we started to look at the Los Angeles university list, that’s when reality hit home. The colleges in California were good, extremely good, and I saw where I had A LOT of work to do on my grades if I ever had ideas of going to school there.

Well, my big sister (who by the way is a teacher), tried her best to keep from saying, “told you so”, but she did manage to not say it as she gently guided me along the path to getting my grades solid enough to seriously think about coming to California. That time of my life was when I learned that the difference in doing something and thinking something is w-o-r-k-ing towards it to make it happen.

Going to school and getting a degree is very important, one of the most important things you will ever do in life. Having fun is important too! But, the most important thing that I learned that summer was not only to have fun (which I did manage to do!), but to work hard, stay focused and not get distracted. My sister spent a summer helping me see those things and for that, I’m forever grateful. Thanks sis!

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In the meantime, I’ve managed to motivate myself by trying to look at the things that I CAN do versus the things that I CANNOT do. Yes, I can’t run. There, I said it. But I do love spinning, so I’ve decided to take the gym’s spin classes during my recuperation period until the doctor says I CAN run again. That will give me a new (temporary) focus, help me control my weight and strengthen those vital muscles you need when you run. I just hope I can stay motivated until this time period is up. We’ll see how things go. What do you think?

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That’s the motto I’ve embraced in the last few weeks. I’ve realized how important it is to keep things moving along, especially and more importantly when it’s in a positive direction. Keep your life, your goals, your thinking moving ahead progressively in all facets of your life.

Sometimes, things occur in our lives that are troubling and hurtful. That’s a part of life. It happens and there’s often not a whole lot that we can do about it. Whether we are directly responsible for it or not, whatever has occurred can have an impact on your life. Only YOU have the power to determine just how deep the effect will be. In other words, you cannot play the victim and cry “why me, why me” and not completely understand the situation and your role in it all.  Sometimes you simply have to realize that it is what it is and you have to make a decision to either 1.) make the best of it or 2.) move along.

The Victim?

I’ve had some things happen to me in the last couple of months that have really hurt me and have negatively affected my life. I’m a pretty upbeat, positive girl, so when bad things happen to me, it takes me a bit to get my bearings back. You know the whine…”I treat everybody right. Why does this always happen to me? What did I do wrong?” Yada, Yada, Yada. Even though we may treat folks right, that doesn’t always mean they’re going to treat you right in return.

At the moment of my hurt, I felt very much like a victim. I was completely oblivious to the circumstances of the occurrence that hurt me so bad, but nevertheless, I was affected. I tried to confront the situation, to no avail. I tried to forget about it, again, no luck. I know how it feels to have things happen to you and there is no explainable reason for the “why.” No matter how many times you turn it over and over in your mind, it comes up short and confusing. Has that ever happened to you? That’s when you know it’s time to move on.

Know Your Limits

Being a victim is not always the best role to play. When you are a victim, you ARE a victim, but every situation is not something where someone is “doing” something to you. Not cute. I’m not taking anything away from people who have really been victimized in situations that are true. Although in my situation, I did feel like a victim (actually I was), but I’ve decided to make an alternate decision. My choice today is to not continue to go over and over it in my mind trying to make sense of it. Neither will I continue to replay it and see what it was that I “did” or “said” that could have caused it to happen. It just is.

My decision today is simply to move on. I blogged a couple of weeks ago about a lifestyle purge and that’s where this situation fits in. Many people may say that you shouldn’t allow others to dictate your actions. I agree. But since you can’t change people you have to change yourself. And in this case, I’m making a decision to change myself. I made a conscientious decision years ago to live a peaceful life and to live peaceably among others, so when there’s a peace-less situation going on, I decide to distance myself from it, the circumstance, places and any people involved.

Am I running away?

Am I giving up?

No, I think not. I am simply deciding to live in peace with no drama, stress, pressure or conflict. Trust me, I’m a big girl and can handle my business, but there are some situations that don’t deserve your mental or physical energy. Removing yourself from negativity serves you better than trying to make it all make sense and come together. Who has that kind of time? Life is too short and there are too many moments to enjoy rather than spending them trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. You feel me?

What are your thoughts? Have you ever experienced any hurtful situations where you had the courage and foresight to walk away? Do share!

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Tomorrow is the first day of May and I’m glad to say that I will be giving my lifestyle a FULL detox from all of the things that have been building up over the last few weeks and months. I’m eliminating foulness in all areas including thinking, habits and relationships. I feel better already just knowing that I will be approaching my new thinking and new lifestyle with a renewed approach to life. Life is good and it’s about to get better!

Toxic Bad Habits

Bad habits include things like procrastinating, wasting time and always running late! These things are super-stressors and I am going to remove them from my life as they occur. In other words, instead of waiting until the last minute to get something done, I’ll just work on it a little at a time until I reach the end.

I also intend to identify my time-wasters and remove them as well. Do you know how much time you waste chatting on the phone, standing in line or in some cases, watching television? (Disclaimer: watching television IS NOT bad…especially if it’s an episode of 24. Is Jack EVER going to die?) But what I mean by television is watching more than two or three hours of stupid stuff everyday. Do you know how much you could get done in three hours?

My Own Major Detox Areas

As for relationships, a detox in this area is one that we would all do well to perform quite often. Sometimes toxic people slip into our lives, sometimes we let them in. Whatever the case may be, you know when it’s time to let them go. I am performing a MAJOR detox in this area and feel so good about it. For me it’s a renewal of self and analyzing those things that are truly important to me. Relationships don’t always have to be intimate in nature. In other words, I’m not talking about breaking up with your boyfriend or to cut off speaking to your sister. Relationships can include anything where you are dealing with people who cause toxicity. If the barista at your favorite coffee place is rude and obnoxious and doesn’t give you the warm fuzzies when you place your order, then find someplace else to get your caffeine fix. Life is too short to be bothered with nonsense. There are certainly other fine establishments that would be glad to take your java dollars.

At the end of my detox, I hope to come away with a sense of renewal and a new purpose for this phase of my life. Self-renewal is more than just a new face cream, a new hairdo or car. Self-renewal is about changing who you are on the inside and limiting the effects of outside stimulus on your life. YOU control what comes into and what flows out of your life. Don’t give out toxic behavior and don’t allow toxicity to come in. When you feel it, you’ll know it.

What areas of toxic behavior in your life would you like to change? Can you easily identify areas of needed change or are you completely oblivious, wondering why you’re always so depressed and frustrated?

Begin your toxic removal with me today. You will feel so much better!

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An Innocent Car Ride

This morning was a different day for us however. Right now my car is down so I had to take him to work so I could use his car. Since we had to spend some time in the car together, we got a chance to actually “talk”, something we rarely get a chance to do. It was very nice and very much needed. He and I both got to reflect on the importance of letting the other person know their value in our lives.

My husband and I have been together for over 20 +\- years. We’ve been through A LOT and we’re still hanging in there. No our marriage isn’t perfect. (Does one exist?). Yes, we fight, fuss and have disagreements. Yes there are days when I don’t want to be around him. Yes there are times when he doesn’t want to be around me. And yes there have been times when we both have thought the unthinkable – - you know what I’m saying. But honestly, at the end of the day, he and I both know that we wouldn’t have it any other way – the good, bad and the iffy. Our need for each other is greater than our lives without each other.

The Journey of Life

After many of life’s tests, I realize that my husband is my very best friend. Sure I have girlfriends that I talk to, vent to, hang out with and cry with. But really, in the end, I realize that it’s my husband who’s really got my back. He listens (sometimes), doesn’t judge me, doesn’t hold grudges against me, accepts my strengths, weaknesses, imperfections, stretch marks, faults, idiosyncrasies and loves me for who and what I am. I realize now and can fully appreciate the scriptures that admonish a husband and wife to cleave unto one another. God’s plan for companionship in marriage was carefully orchestrated. He intended for spouses to rely solely on one another for foundational support in good times, bad times and the questionable times. Everyone else who comes into our lives are just to add to the great foundation that’s already there. So, yes it’s good to have friends and family, but your spouse is where your heart should be.

A SOLID Foundation in God

I’m glad that I have that foundation in my husband. He’ll probably aggravate me or make me mad this afternoon, but he’s still my anchor, my rock. I’m sure I’ll spend too much money outside of the budget or burn his chicken, but he’ll still love me despite my mistakes. I’m glad to know that our marital foundation is built on that real solid Rock that never fails either of us at any time, no matter how dismal things may look. Today I celebrate my marriage and the institution of a holy union. Only with God are these things even possible.

I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. So can we all. Have a great day!

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I am faced DAILY with making decisions that will either keep me in balance or take me completely OUT of balance. With three kids, a household, work and a full life, there is always something to do. I have the challenge of deciding what to add or take away from that mixture that will keep me with sanity by the end of the day.

I’ve pretty much mastered the art of “no.” Almost. A little. I still have a few rough edges to polish on, but for the most part, I am able to say no and feel good about it. Just yesterday I was able to say no to a request to serve on a business community board. The position was for a year’s dedication. I wasn’t willing nor able to make that commitment although the person asking me was exerting a little pressure by making me feel as if I “should” do this thing. I was able to clearly and articulately say no and afterward, I felt a huge release of pressure from my mental state. I felt that I was beginning to see a state of balance come into my life.

What area(s) of your life are you out of balance in? How do you think you got into those situations or when did you get out of balance? Do share.

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For those who have special women in their lives and want to find a way to make Mothers Day very nice for them, there are a lot of creative gift ideas that they can giver her. Mother’s like gifts that are both practical yet personal. They enjoy things they can use more than once and gifts that add a little convenience to their lives. Picking out their gift should be deliberate and thoughtful.

Maybe Mothers Day won’t get to be a week long, but I’ll still keep hoping for it. In the meantime, I’ll certainly be satisfied with nice gifts, flowers and special gifts of any kind. I’ll be sure to enjoy my special day, whether it’s for one afternoon or for a whole day.

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Decidely, I WILL have a good day today. I know people and circumstances thought they had the best of me, but I have made a CONSCIENTIOUS choice to ignore the negative and embrace the positive. I can’t change the actions of others, but my eyes are on The Hill. That’s where my Help is.

When circumstances and situations try to get the best of you, it’s not good to become negative about it. That just feeds the energy for the problem and makes you feel worse. Take the sting out of it by being positive, full of faith and totally upbeat. Don’t let people change you or your attitude. Don’t allow people to control your feelings and your outlook on life. DECIDE within yourself to be positive, to think positively and to exude positivism. It will work if you let it.

Have a great day!

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